Anika’s Zen and the Power of Gratitude. A new weekly column, every Sunday…Sometimes on Monday.
Vanilla, not my favorite flavor
There is no other way to say it – I struggle with the mundane. Let’s just say that Vanilla has never been my favorite flavor and never will be. I find joy in adventure, for it holds the promise of the unknown. It’s those bends in the road, the meandering ways, the lefts and the rights that suddenly open up a whole new world. I seek the thrill you feel in your heart when you know you are facing something for the very first time. Adventure, Adrenalin, Thrill – call it by any name but I know that is what makes me move!
So now you can imagine how I felt when life got into domestication mode, especially after becoming a mother. Every morning, the sink and the kitchen waited for me with monk-like patience. Every day, the washed clothes waited with no-bated breath, till I found time to fold them and put them away. Same for the dishes, and just about everything else in the house. For someone who loves adventure, domestication can feel like a noose around the neck.
The Runaway Homemaker
For the longest time, I felt the noose of domestication around my neck too. My home rarely got any attention. Every opportunity I got, I was out – whether going for a drive, going to a friend’s place, going shopping for things I did not need or just me looking for a road. I knew it was my way of running away but I did not know how to solve the issue of this ‘everyday’that was waiting for me, day in and day out.
Seeking Nirvana
On my sister’s bookshelf, one day, I found a book on Buddhism. I opened the book seeking Nirvana. Instead, I found myself staring at the first page that said, “Life is about suffering.” It shook me, raising more questions instead of offering any answers. A believer of optimism and happiness, that sentence went against the very core of everything I believed in. And so, I continued to seek the adventure that I did not find, and I continued to run. Days became months and sometimes, years and yet, my running away from my every day, continued.
Plates, Spoons and Bowls
Then a few years back, I came across another quote. I can’t remember whether I found it in another Buddhism book or somewhere else. But it said, “Find joy in the everyday.” Simple as it was, that line was a gamechanger for me. Because it made me realize that life is made up of a lot of the everyday.
That one quote was a revelation moment in my life. It did not change the dishes-full kitchen sink and its monk-like patience, not did it change the clothes that were waiting for me to fold them. What it changed, was my attitude towards these everyday mundane chores. I realized that the sink was full because we had food to eat and family members who used these plates, spoons and bowls to savor that food. Plates, spoons and bowls that whispered of laughter and conversations around the table. The clothes were waiting because we had them in the first place, along with a washer and dryer that could do the chore for me, so that I don’t have to physically wash and dry them. I did not realize how much my washing machine did, till it broke down once for 3 weeks straight! I must admit, it made me feel renewed love for all my appliances in general, and for my washing machine in particular.
In Deep Gratitude for The Everyday
Life truly is about finding joy in the everyday. Now I wake up happy that I have chores to do and things to put away. Every time I fold a piece of clothing now, I think about when I wore it, where I bought it from, and all the memories associated with it. Suddenly it went from being a chore to being an excuse to touch it, feel it, remember it, bringing a smile to my face. Same with the dishes and cutlery.
Many a times, when my friends come home, they wonder why I don’t use disposable plates? After all, it will make my job easier. And I always tell them that I look forward to my dishwasher and me washing these dishes that have served them and welcomed them with honor to my home.
I am in deep gratitude for the everyday chores. That does not mean they still get done on time. And of course, there are those that I still have to get into a mindset to do – like, cleaning the refrigerator. But outside of those, it’s the everyday chores that remind me of how full both, my home and my heart are! The everyday is the reason I get out of bed, for there is always something to sort, something to donate, something to repair, something to make, something to share and someone to call. It’s the everyday that uses my skills and hopefully helps me make my house a home – the kind of home that is warm, welcoming and makes all those who enter feel exactly that. At home!
Read my previous blogs below:
- Anika’s Zen and the Power of Gratitude
- Sack Full of Breaths
- The Power of Silence: A Date with Myself
- Travel Through the Glass
- The Elusive Trophy
- The Joy of Everyday
- Does Love Have a Color?
- Stronger than the Storm
- My Neighborhood, My Tribe
Anika Sharma is a digital thought leader, a mother, a professor at New York University’s Stern School of Business. She was recently named as one of the top 150 digital global leaders to follow in 2021. When she is not busy working or raising her two teenage children, you can find her planting herbs in her garden, meditating with her friends, swimming long laps or filling rooms with her cackling laughter. Contact her at anikadas@gmail.com or on twitter
If you enjoyed this blog, read about the Many Benefits of Gratitude. and the Rules of Simple Living.
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