Where Diamonds Fail

Anika’s Zen and the Power of Gratitude. A new weekly column. Every Sunday.

 

I have always been a ‘little things’ person. You see, big gestures have never impressed me with their grandeur. But it’s the little things that tug at my heart in ways, no big gesture can.

 

Little Things: Kindness of Strangers

 

Recently, an acquaintance sent me a link and said, “Use this link. They have some appointments available. Register soon to get your vaccination.”

It was the end of a long day and the last thing I wanted to think about was a painful shot. Not because I am not a believer of the vaccine, but because, I am quite the baby when it comes to needles, especially injections. You see, I am one of those, who needs someone to hold the hand that is not getting vaccinated, and then someone to hold the hand of the arm, that is getting the vaccine. I usually close my eyes in anticipation of the pain, almost in tears. Of course, the buildup is so much that before I know it, the shot is done, or the blood is drawn and there I am still waiting for the pain to set in – much to the amusement of the nursing crew!

One of the things I have begun to appreciate about caregivers of any kind, are their soft hands and amazing bedside manners. The ones who treat you like human beings when you go to a lab, a hospital or a doctor’s office. Soft hands, kind eyes – my favorite kind of caregivers!

 

Little Things: Vaccination Pain

 

Coming back to the link shared by this acquaintance, when I clicked on it to register, all appointments were taken. Heaving a sigh of relief, I let it slide. But then she sent me the link to a Facebook group being manned by a large group of volunteers. They help strangers like me, register to get their vaccination. With no enthusiasm at all, but wanting to protect myself as well as others around me, I logged into the Facebook group. I saw a post that said, “Post your zip code and your willingness to travel.” Expecting nothing, I entered my zip code and logged out.

Within minutes, an ex-colleague-cum-friend pinged me. She said, ‘Anika, are you looking for a vaccination appointment? I am a volunteer and can help.” Remember my enthusiasm about getting a shot? Happy to hear from her after so long, I asked her about everything, including her mom and her health, letting the vaccination conversation slide. She, however, did not forget about it, asking for my details, which, of course, I gladly gave her.

A day went by, I did not hear back and I let it pass. I was not in any hurry to get a vaccination that so many others were waiting for. The next morning was one of those rare ones when I was sleeping without my phone. When I went to get it, there was a message from CVS confirming my appointment.

Not only had my dear friend got me an appointment, but she worked extra hard to find the closest CVS to my home, for my convenience.

 

Little Things: Where it Matters

 

Come to think of it, it did not matter whether she was able to get me the vaccination appointment or not, though I am deeply grateful that she got it. I was so touched that she offered to do it for me. We had been colleagues almost 6 years ago but had continued to keep in touch. My heart expanded at the thought of her being so kind, to recognize my name, see my comment, get in touch and do this. For someone who loves words, they fail me now to do justice to my gratitude.

 

Little Things: Where Diamonds Fail

 

 

Those who know me, know I love my accessories. When I first started out, all I wore were diamonds – top notch, well-cut, colorless and flawless. Set in platinum, no less. But then I watched the movie Blood Diamond and have never worn a diamond since. It was my simple belief that anything that can cause so much harm and grief to an entire group of people, could never bring me happiness by wearing it. So, not for me the gesture of diamonds, a high-end bag or some such!

But it’s the little things that don’t always have to come from someone I know. Take, for instance, the gesture of someone letting you pass or take a turn, on a really crowded road. For someone who drives a lot, this little gesture can make my day, every day. And remind me, every day, to do the same and pay it forward.

It’s a little big thing, when my friends drop in at midnight to wish me on my birthday, making me feel so special. Right at the stroke of midnight. Or when someone remembers your favorite festival – not because they like it but because it is your favorite. Holi, for instance.

 

Little Things: Not Liking the Wind

 

I am currently training with a group of friends for our first triathlon. As part of the training, we sometimes run outside. Recently when I recommended a run on a Saturday, one of the members said, “It’s going to be windy and you don’t like the wind.” He did not know me from before and I was so touched that he had remembered this from just one run together.

It’s a little big thing, when I drive up to my favorite Dunkin Donuts, and they remember to make my Matcha latte exactly how I like it – that is after they remind me that they have not seen me in 2 whole days! Same at the gym, at our community pool and even my neighborhood fresh bagels place, run by this wonderful Egyptian man, who looked at me once and said, “I was going to call you as I had not seen you and got worried!” Well, let me tell you – he has my business for as long as we are in the market for fresh bagels!

 

Little Things: A Kadhi Drive

 

One of my favorite stories? When my dear friend Manju, texted me one morning and said, “I am making Kadhi. I know how much you love it, so I am thinking of driving by and dropping a container for you.” Touched that she remembered how much I loved the dish, but more, the fact that she was ready to drive and drop it in for me, when she is the one with two small toddlers! Did I mention she lives nearly an hour away? Spurred by her gesture, I got into my car after work and drove right to her place. After all, the dish tasted even more special when shared with her.

 

 

It is always the little things that have been the way to my heart. A dear friend flying down to take a long walk together – a walk that lasts a couple of hours, ending with a coffee. Another who flies down just so we can all meet and hang out for a few hours. Another who sits on a bus for 8 hours one way, so we can meet for an early dinner and she can spend another 8 hours going back home, on a very long bus ride! It’s the little things that make the big memories, strengthening my relationship even further.

Not for me the diamonds or the grandiose of large gestures. My heart lies in those walks, in those cups of tea and matcha lattes. It lies in those laughter-filled conversations that gladden the soul, stopping time. My heart lies in my neighbor sprinkling seeds in my yard, so that flowers can grow in his yard and mine. And my heart loves the midnights of birthdays, because it heralds the joy of a shared stolen moment, that is special because we made it thus.

 

In Deep Gratitude for the Little Things

 

I look back and realize that I have had so many stolen moments in life and been showered with so many little things by friends and strangers. When I count my blessings, I count these little things that have made and continue to make such big differences in my life. Whether it’s the countless cups of tea, the making of a dish, someone remembering that I do not like the wind, someone letting me pass on a very busy road or just something as simple as a festival that may be your favorite but not theirs. The little things show that you are listening; that what matters to the other person, matters to you. The little things show compassion and in turn, perhaps, create a ripple effect, for others to do the same.

So, am I losing out on the diamonds and the Ferraris for the little things? I don’t know and who cares, anyways! After all, no Ferrari can beat the speed of my beating heart, when it fills with joy at the big ‘little’ things in my life!

 

Read my previous blogs below:

• Anika’s Zen and the Power of Gratitude
• Sack Full of Breaths
• The Power of Silence: A Date with Myself
• Travel Through the Glass
• The Elusive Trophy
• The Joy of Everyday
• Does Love Have a Color?
• My Neighborhood, My Tribe
• The Snow Persisted
• Lucky Me, a Woman
• Science, the Real Hero

 

 

Anika Sharma is a digital thought leader, a mother, a professor at New York University’s Stern School of Business. She was recently named as one of the top 150 digital global leaders to follow in 2021. When she is not busy working or raising her two teenage children, you can find her planting herbs in her garden, meditating with her friends, swimming long laps or filling rooms with her cackling laughter. Contact her at anikadas@gmail.com or on twitter

 

If you enjoyed this blog, read about the Many Benefits of Gratitude, Covid-19: How I am Learning to Cope, Seven Ways to Manage Your Emotions, Covid-19 and Beyond and the Rules of Simple Living.