Lucky Me, A Woman!

Anika’s Zen and the Power of Gratitude. A new weekly column.  Every Sunday.

 

Born a Male and Getting It Right

 

A couple of years ago, close to International Women’s Day, I asked a few friends what they would do differently if they had the chance, starting from birth. One woman, a PhD and a well-established academician said, “If I could do things differently, I would start with being born a man! Because this time I would want to get it right from the very beginning.”

It got me thinking. Is it really that hard being born a woman? Sure, you will have to work twice at hard for less money. You will have to balance work and home. If someone gets sick, you will be expected to take the burden and even today, it’s the woman’s career that takes a hit with motherhood – either in the form of a more flexible role, or a pause, or sometimes both.

 

Soul-Searching

 

In a country with little to no help and usually childcare costing more than your mortgage or even the money you make, it is no surprise that less than 20% of all new mothers and 29% of first time mothers ever return to full-time work in the 1st three years following their maternity leave. If that was not alarming enough, the number further falls to 15% after five years.

Further proof of how hard it is? 17% of women leave employment completely in the first five years after childbirth. Now, compare this to 4% of men! On a walk yesterday, a mom of two teenagers and someone who graduated from a very well-known New York design school, expressed out aloud, “I am a full-blown adult and I still don’t know what I want to do with my life. My soul-searching for what makes me happy, continues. So, how can I expect my teenage son to know what he wants to do?” She spoke about how she had taken a step back from her career, focusing instead on raising their children and taking care of her in-laws, while her husband’s career followed a predictable, time-tested track.

 

Living Longer

 

Is there a reason why men make it, especially in the corporate world? Are there advantages they have that we can learn from? I wanted to find out by looking at some cold, hard statistics.

 

 

In terms of population size, the sex ratio in the United States statistically favors the females, although the gender gap continues to remain stable. In 2010, there were 7.43 million more women, a number projected to only decrease to 7.42 million by 2025.

The resident population in the United States was estimated to be around 330 million in 2020. The gender distribution of the nation has remained steady for several years, with women accounting for approximately 51.1% of the population since 2013. Females outnumbered males in the majority of states across the country in 2018, with only ten states with a gender ratio that favors men over women.

Globally, between ages 15 and 20, males outnumber females by 106 to 100. But as we move through adulthood, we see that this ratio gets lower over time. For 50-year-olds the ratio is close to 1-to-1; for 70-year-olds there are only 89 males per 100 females; and in the very oldest age bracket (100-year-olds) there are only 25 men per 100 women. In every country in the world women tend to live longer than men and I am not saying this; the statistics are.

 

 

The world, however, does not start off like this. The sex ratio at birth in almost every country in the world, favors the male. The ratio at birth is around 105 boys for every 100 girls, a ratio that continues to hold till about 20 years of age. In countries where there is a clear son preference, such as in India and China, the sex ratio at birth becomes increasingly skewed with birth order. In fact, the third or fourth born children are more likely to be boys than the first or second child.

 

The Short Straw

 

So, we live longer, and we get stronger over time. Yet, when it comes to life, it does look like we pull the short straw! A fact further proved by the Women in the Workplace study.

This is the sixth year of the Women in the Workplace study, a partnership with LeanIn.org. It tracks the progress of women in corporate America and one I wanted to explore further in the hopes of finding out what goes wrong and where?

The data set this year reflected contributions from 317 companies that participated in the study and more than 40,000 people surveyed on their workplace experiences; more than 45 in-depth interviews were also conducted to dive deeper on the issues.

What did the study find? Well, to begin with, it found that the pandemic has been a lot harsher on working women than men, with more than 1 in 4 women contemplating what many would have considered unthinkable just six months ago: downshifting their careers or leaving the workforce completely. This is a serious statistic to consider as companies risk losing women leadership, especially as future women leaders and undoing years of slow, painstaking progress toward much-needed gender diversity.

 

Corporate America Representation

 

After years, companies began to notice and started putting women in the right seats across corporate America. The beginning of 2020 saw the representation of women in corporate America trending in the right direction with women in senior-vice-president roles, growing from 23% to 28%, and representation in the C-suite growing from 17 to 21%.

Women, however, remained dramatically underrepresented. Despite gains for women in leadership, the “broken rung” was still a major barrier in 2019. For the sixth year in a row, women continued to lose ground at the first step up to manager. For every 100 men promoted to manager, only 85 women were promoted. As a result, women remained significantly outnumbered in entry-level management at the beginning of 2020.

There is hope, however, as the world continues to realize how important representation is. As of 1st quarter of 2021, 41 women will lead Fortune 500 companies. That’s just 8.2%, but an improvement from the 33 companies in 2019 and 24 in 2018. Going back 20 years, there were just two companies on the list that were run by women, according to Fortune.

 

Never Leaving the Battlefield

 

 

So where does that leave us as we finish celebrating International Women’s Day 2021? I can tell you where it leaves me. As a Naval Officer’s daughter, I was always taught that you can’t win a battle if you leave the battlefield. Yes, we will continue to fight the tougher battle with balancing home, being caregivers, raising children and of course, carrying the larger load. But we also have skillsets that men don’t. We have resilience, perseverance and a larger-than-life dose of empathy – considered to be the most sought-after attribute for the new workplace. So, if you do leave the battlefield, heal and come back. The battle awaits.

Two, as I said in a recent interview, help with balancing the numbers. When you have the opportunity to hire, or if you are involved in the hiring process, do your bit to help with representation. Men and women want to work with each other – because each of us have unique skillsets and can offer something that our peers can’t. It is up to us as women, to ensure that we pave the path for that to happen, both as role models and as champions!

 

In Gratitude for Being a Woman

 

I am so happy I was born a woman. And no, I don’t get everything that I want, handed out on a platter just because I am a woman. I work really hard, fall down often and then get back on my feet again, to see another day. I like the ‘female’ side of me – I like being soft, being intuitive, having empathy and those unique skillsets, that make me, me.

Of course, I like the rainbow of colors that I can wear, outside of blues, blacks and greys and I like the tenderness that I can bring to a relationship, including a corporate one. And I like that I can cry easily feeling someone else’s pain, laugh just as easily and yet be resilient when the need arises.

 

Lucky Me

 

If I was to do this all over again, I would be born a female, just like I am, now. But I don’t have to wait to do this right. I know what I went through when I had to balance work, life and home. It’s my time today, to raise a voice, to offer a helping hand and to continue being a cheer leader for those who may not be as lucky.

I, for one, am lucky that I have so many role models, especially female role models. I really do see a role model in almost every woman I come across – women who are balancing home and work, who are balancing taking care of young ones, while being caregivers to older ones. The women who need to figure out how to put food on the table, while balancing an Excel for a presentation; women who are taking night classes and teaching themselves new things to continue being relevant in the marketplace. Recently, while swimming, I met an older woman who used to be a nurse and is now a wellness coach. No matter what the weather, she comes in and swims for at least an hour! Her sheer determination makes her a role model to me.

Role models come in many shapes and sizes. I am surrounded by women who inspire me on a regular basis – some of whom I have met for the first time and some of whom I have known for a lifetime, which makes me one of the luckiest people in the world! And yes, they all, remind me, time and time again, lucky me – I was born a woman!

 

Read my previous blogs below:

• Anika’s Zen and the Power of Gratitude
• Sack Full of Breaths
• The Power of Silence: A Date with Myself
• Travel Through the Glass
• The Elusive Trophy
• The Joy of Everyday
• Does Love Have a Color?
• My Neighborhood, My Tribe
• The Snow Persisted

 

Anika Sharma is a digital thought leader, a mother, a professor at New York University’s Stern School of Business. She was recently named as one of the top 150 digital global leaders to follow in 2021. When she is not busy working or raising her two teenage children, you can find her planting herbs in her garden, meditating with her friends, swimming long laps or filling rooms with her cackling laughter. Contact her at anikadas@gmail.com or on twitter

 

If you enjoyed this blog, read about the Many Benefits of Gratitude. and the Rules of Simple Living.