It is ironic how truly seismic shifts can occur in our lives when events arrive with no warning, changing forever, the course of our lives. Within a few days, the world is in the grips of a health crisis that none of us in this generation have witnessed. My elderly in-laws were remembering their experiences during the Second World War. This crisis is just as cataclysmic and will have similar consequences to our world and for future generations.

As I talk to friends, who are all impacted, without exception, in one way or another, I reflect on the lessons that I may internalize. Part of this exercise seems to stem from a desire to understand what is going on, and perhaps, seek a way forward for myself. I hope that this article sparks conversations and sharing from each other’s insights. By no means, is this a prescription for anyone else. This is a very personal account of what learning I seem to be arriving at.

Life is Unpredictable

Duh! Of course it is. Yet, I was bewildered as goals and plans that I had worked on for the better part of 2019 seemed to be upended. After a lot of soul-searching I had arrived at a set of goals for myself and was excited as I looked forward to putting into action these goals. Then as I watched country after country shutting its borders down and social distancing becoming the critical need of the day, my mental state went from feeling bewildered to realizing that something far greater was happening. The world, as we know it, will change as a result of this virus.

As I watch the news – sporadically – and start to absorb what is happening around the world – no country seems to have been spared. When the big picture starts unfolding, I start to question what this means for me personally? Does this mean I set aside my goals? We don’t know when social distancing rules will be relaxed. The global economy is completely shaken. People everywhere are wondering whether their loved ones are safe, whether their jobs are safe. Young adults, who had graduated recently from college and had just started their careers, have already started to lose their jobs. As I was embarking on a new venture, I started asking myself, what this would mean for me?

My Steadying Force: Meditation & Prayer

Over the years, and more specifically, in the last year, I have cultivated a meditation practice and spend some time every day in prayer. This centers me greatly and steadies me. Over the years, I have discovered that when I am confronted with a crisis, I resort to my meditation and prayer. In this situation, I did the same.

One of the teachings that I had been exposed to last year was the idea of opposites and to be in the presence of these opposites. Life has both pleasant and unpleasant experiences; good, bad, indifferent; success and failure; gain and loss; birth and death; good health and sickness; day and night; light and shade.

As I reflect on these opposites, can I hold the awareness of these opposites in my consciousness and let it settle in? When I let it settle in, I am able to also be aware of how these opposites have played out in my own personal life. In most cases, there is a renewal after a loss; in some cases, as with the death of a loved one, those people dear to me have departed, yet I am able to experience Life until my own life will end. So, once again, I choose to be aware of these opposites in the context of my goals with the awareness that Life will unfold one way or another. I believe that whichever way things work out, I will find my way, as I have all these years.

Life will also reveal to me what it seeks from me. In the meanwhile, I go about my day and set aside worry or frustration about what the future holds for me with respect to my goals. My meditation practice continues to sustain and steady me, where I am able to be at peace in the face of this uncertainty and ambivalence.

Surrender and Acceptance

There are two concepts which have come up for me repeatedly in the course of the last few years. As part of my prayers, I surrender to a Higher Consciousness. For me this involves chanting a short prayer from the Bhagavad Gita. I say this prayer whenever I reach the end of my understanding and emotional resources. In this environment, I am Surrendering.

Which brings me to the second and perhaps, equally difficult, concept of Acceptance. When I surrender to the Higher Consciousness, I do so at first to just seek relief from my own inability to deal with the situation at hand. Then gradually, there is awareness, that in surrendering, I have to be willing to accept what Life offers. What I want or don’t want, in any situation, is immaterial. I can resist what is. When I resist, it persists. However, I can choose to accept what Life offers. Life will offer what it will. By resisting what Life offers, I merely increase my resistance to what is and invite distress. Rather when I drop my resistance and accept what Life is offering, I am present to how Life is unfolding.

When I allow Life to unfold the way it chooses to, I trust that the Universe is working based on a far higher level of consciousness, than what I have access to. As I trust the Universe, I feel supported. And as I feel supported, I am at peace. Things will work out for the greater good because as we are seeing from events around the world, we live in an interconnected world. We all impact each other.

Silver Lining

Ironically, as I give up the need to hold on to my point of view, my goals, what I want to have happen, I experience a gradual shift. Instead of focusing on what I want to accomplish, I surrender to the idea that things will unfold for the larger good. I continue to remain aware as I meditate and pray. I reach out to people on a regular basis. When I talk to them, there are repeated signs that the people I talk to are interested in the work that I set out to do.

Now, more than ever, people will have a need for this work. A friend of mine lets me know that she is waiting to come and talk to me as soon as it is prudent to meet so that she feels supported with the issues that she is confronted with in the present environment. Anxiety and fear will have to be addressed as they manifest in different ways. As my mentor says, Trust the Process. The work will reach the people it is meant to. How and when this will happen will again unfold at the appropriate time. Life will present me with the How and the When.

A Poem

I share here an excerpt from a poem by T.S. Eliot, which seems to speak to me at this time:

To arrive where you are, to get from where you are not,
You must go by a way wherein there is no ecstasy.
In order to arrive at what you do not know
You must go by a way which is the way of ignorance.
In order to possess what you do not possess
You must go by the way of dispossession.
In order to arrive at what you are not
You must go through the way in which you are not.
And what you do not know is the only thing you know
What you own is what you do not own
And where you are is where you are not.
― T.S. Eliot, Four Quartets

Author Bio: Harini is the founder of Crucible Learning, located in McKinney, Texas, a suburb of Dallas. Harini works with you, individually or in a group setting, to discover the possibility of growing from within. She offers individualized or group process work, to enable inquiry into your relationships with yourselves and with others, to help you have the outcomes you desire. Having spent over 20 years as an IT professional, she now devotes her time to her work, besides being a mother and homemaker and pursues Art and a spiritual practice with Yoga and Meditation. You can follow her on Facebook or on Instagram. Harini can be reached at harini@cruciblelearning.com to schedule personalized sessions with her.