My Tryst with Water Colors: 100 Days and Beyond…

There was a trigger that pushed me to start creating. One Saturday morning, I woke up upset and disturbed about a few things which weren’t really in my control. Murphy’s Law was in full force. I dragged myself to the gym, hoping that kick-boxing would help get despair out of my system. While in the midst of a circuit, the instructor accidentally kicked me hard on my thigh. As I was digesting the numbing pain, a few minutes later a fellow kick-boxer almost hit me in the eye. While these things are to be expected in a martial arts class, I guess I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to deal with them. I just threw my gloves in frustration and started weeping uncontrollably. The instructor and the other girl apologized profusely. I insisted that I was fine and that it was just a tough day, and I would get over it.

I went home, calmed myself down with a long shower, turned my phone off for most of the day, and picked up my paints and brushes. I had collected enough painting material over the years because I had always lusted after colors, pencils, pens, brushes other painting supplies as far as I can remember. A couple of years before, I had come across the 100-day project started by a woman who became an artist a few years ago and penned a book based on her journey. Elle Luna* was quite inspirational and I had contemplated a few times in the past few years to jump on the bandwagon of this project where you create something starting April 1, every day for 100 days and post it on Instagram, for the world to see. A super scary thought! But this time I decided to really START.

Flashback to my 10-year-old self: I was a natural at drawing and painting. I had many “on-the-spot” painting/ drawing competition prizes under my belt during my childhood and had also excelled at the state drawing and painting exams. I was the darling of all teachers in classes where any bit of drawing or art was involved, including geography, where I flawlessly illustrated layers of the earth or maps of countries. Mrs. Rao, till date, hunched over in old age and due a bad back, sweetly raves about my impeccable diagrams in science class. But that was that. Partly because of the demands of scholastic pursuits and competitive exams and partly because of the self-inflicted doubts of ‘what am I really going to do with any of this’ and self-doubt of ‘c’mon, I’m not so good at this’, creating art fizzled out of my life to just barely a trickle.

I ultimately landed in America, where I always wanted to come since I was a teenager, got a Master’s degree in Engineering, a corporate job, and a startup subsequently. I picked up other interesting pursuits and hobbies that I had never gotten the opportunity to explore before. Time was always a challenge. In between, I doodled when I could, designed the logo for our college tee, participated in window painting competitions in our dorm (and won), lived vicariously through the art and talent of others, and thus, time flew by.  I was always tempted to draw and paint, which I did periodically, but that tiny voice in my head always stopped me, criticizing me, calling me out, chiding me on how awful my art was.

It has been 80 days since I have painted (almost) every day. Some days, I just can’t make time, and sometimes I have to play catch up, but it gives me ultimate joy and satisfaction. Not only do I feel that I am getting better and gaining more confidence, it helps me clear my head, and transports me to my quiet and peaceful place, and my little band of kind Instagram followers send me so many bouquets to further encourage me. Some days, I paint from my imagination and dreams, and some days I just paint simple objects around me. Some days I love what evolves from my paint brushes and sometimes I just hate them!

I recently started attending water color lessons at the Art Students League of NY, a haven for artists and students – about a 7-minute walk from where I live, to push myself to learn some more. I’ve been painting nudes there. The instructor, Tim Clark rarely criticizes anyone’s work. Just a tidbit of encouragement here and there, spiked with humor, fun, and some sarcasm. He teaches more about his life lessons, entertaining stories of his life, and about quelling that voice in the head which constantly chatters ‘oh this is ugly’, ‘you’re no good’, ‘this painting sucks’ etc. The self-critic within ourselves is the hardest to please and that is also the one that destroys the passion, enthusiasm and joy of creation. Aiming for self-inflicted goals of perfection really hampers the creative process. Getting past that fear of not being as good as all the artists around you, and just persisting and practicing every day builds the much-needed discipline in flexing this creative muscle.

The reason I fretted over that Saturday proved to be inconsequential and just a small blip, like the ones that happen often in everyday life and the characters involved, inspirations and forces pushing me forward. But it has given me a new set of wings, upon which I hope to fly and soar on a path of creative bliss. I’m also beyond thrilled and humbled to have been approached by some fellow artists and creators to collaborate, illustrate with them and paint works of art for a few, based on the posts I’ve put up on Instagram. It’s is truly exciting, fun and fascinating to see how my alter life as an artist is unfolding.

*Elle Luna is a designer, painter, and writer, and the author of The Crossroads of Should and Must. She facilitates a global art movement, #The100DayProject, and has previously worked as a designer at IDEO and with teams on apps and websites, including Medium, Mailbox, and Uber. Ms. Luna speaks to groups around the world and lives in the San Francisco Bay Area and on Instagram at @elleluna.